you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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