I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
