mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
