after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
