The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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