if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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