wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
