I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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