just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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