im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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