She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
