bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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