Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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