Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
