dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
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I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
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Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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