Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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