he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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