Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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