We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
