How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
