I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
