What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
