Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
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I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
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I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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