i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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