Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
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I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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