It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
