Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
