you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
