Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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