Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
