Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
