Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I think people are normalizing furries
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