there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
