HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
