I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
