What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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