It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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