I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
