I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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