I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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