this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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