I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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