My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
