I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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