Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
