i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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