Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
