I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
