Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Randomize
