i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
