I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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