I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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