Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
