As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
my being single is dangerous.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
