I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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