it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
operation harelip BJ is a go
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
