I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
