There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize