I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
