And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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