yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
