we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
